I'll agree that calling people out is incredibly important, and more people should do it, but no one should feel like they have to be a crusading activist at the expense of their physical or emotional well-being. People feeling guilty for not setting themselves up as martyrs strikes me as a bad thing, especially when the people in question are members of marginalized groups.
*nod* I definitely agree with this bit. Even when I've got a relatively full psychological spoon count that day, it can be incredibly draining for me to try to sit down and explain to someone exactly why that thing they said that was supposed to be an expression of helpfulness and support was actually horribly insulting to not only myself, but just about every other person I've met that also has an autistic spectrum disorder. Especially things like the all-too-common concept that parents of autistic children are somehow more qualified to advocate for our needs than actual people with autism....*eyeroll* I've learned to pick my battles, and save the calling-out and explanations for people that I think will actually listen to what I have to say, and try not to count potential missed opportunities the rest of the time. And yeah, that means that I've had to sacrifice a lot of visible activism in other areas (e.g. trans* issues), but there's only so much I can do without sacrificing my own mental health and stability, so picking my battles is an unfortunate necessity.
***
And for the record, if I ever say something offensive please call me out. I try to keep abreast of the major issues in the various -ism communities, but I don't always have the energy to keep up with events that are happening in areas that don't affect me all that much. So I might miss the nuances of something or the less obvious implications of something I'm saying, in which case I'd be really grateful that someone corrected me. I might not always be able to express a response, depending on where I am mentally/emotionally then, but I promise I am listening.
no subject
*nod* I definitely agree with this bit. Even when I've got a relatively full psychological spoon count that day, it can be incredibly draining for me to try to sit down and explain to someone exactly why that thing they said that was supposed to be an expression of helpfulness and support was actually horribly insulting to not only myself, but just about every other person I've met that also has an autistic spectrum disorder. Especially things like the all-too-common concept that parents of autistic children are somehow more qualified to advocate for our needs than actual people with autism....*eyeroll* I've learned to pick my battles, and save the calling-out and explanations for people that I think will actually listen to what I have to say, and try not to count potential missed opportunities the rest of the time. And yeah, that means that I've had to sacrifice a lot of visible activism in other areas (e.g. trans* issues), but there's only so much I can do without sacrificing my own mental health and stability, so picking my battles is an unfortunate necessity.
***
And for the record, if I ever say something offensive please call me out. I try to keep abreast of the major issues in the various -ism communities, but I don't always have the energy to keep up with events that are happening in areas that don't affect me all that much. So I might miss the nuances of something or the less obvious implications of something I'm saying, in which case I'd be really grateful that someone corrected me. I might not always be able to express a response, depending on where I am mentally/emotionally then, but I promise I am listening.