State of the Jaqui
Jul. 30th, 2010 10:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
storyinmypocketI haven't made a generic update post in a while, so I thought I might reassure all the lovely journaling people that, yes, I still live.
At the moment, life is... Well, I'm in Dallas and living with my grandmother, the ultra-conservative Catholic who thinks I need to be on psych meds because I'm more interested in talking to people I love online than I am in going out and being social here in Dallas. Not therapy, mind you, because she knows there's nothing that I'd need therapy for -- I just need to take two pills a day like my uncle and then my brain chemistry will be fixed and I'll go out and have a normal life like I deserve!
...Yeah, this is what I'm hearing on a regular basis. Attempts to tell her that I am not normal and do not want a normal life are falling on deaf ears. I wouldn't even be adverse to meds and therapy, if I had insurance and enough money to pay for them, but I'd want meds because sometimes I have to hold very still until the urge to do myself serious injury passes, not because I don't feel like going out in the oppressive Texas heat and being social with complete strangers. Why is it so hard for her to grasp that I'm happy being a hermit?
However, all is not crappy -- I'm now in a relationship with the lovely and awesomeinbarati, in addition to allfireburns and ordinarygirl, who I miss like crazy. I have been for a while, actually, but there's this irrational fear that if I tell the world about it, something terrible's going to happen. I'm trying to work past that.
In other news, I'm looking into going to school for medical transcription. I like learning about medical stuff, I'm nitpicky and obssessive, and it'll let me work from home, so it seems like a good fit. The downside is that the two schools I hear recommended most often (Andrews and M-TEC) charge just under $4000 for tuition and books, and don't accept Federal financial aid. Dan (the former stepfather) has offered to put tuition on one of his credit cards for me, but I'd still have to pay him back, plus however much interest he gets charged for the balance on the card, and I'm afraid of being stuck owing him money forever while I try to make ends meet.
Most of the rest of what I've been doing involves a great deal of soul-searching, which I'm really not up to talking about.
But yeah, that's my life lately.
At the moment, life is... Well, I'm in Dallas and living with my grandmother, the ultra-conservative Catholic who thinks I need to be on psych meds because I'm more interested in talking to people I love online than I am in going out and being social here in Dallas. Not therapy, mind you, because she knows there's nothing that I'd need therapy for -- I just need to take two pills a day like my uncle and then my brain chemistry will be fixed and I'll go out and have a normal life like I deserve!
...Yeah, this is what I'm hearing on a regular basis. Attempts to tell her that I am not normal and do not want a normal life are falling on deaf ears. I wouldn't even be adverse to meds and therapy, if I had insurance and enough money to pay for them, but I'd want meds because sometimes I have to hold very still until the urge to do myself serious injury passes, not because I don't feel like going out in the oppressive Texas heat and being social with complete strangers. Why is it so hard for her to grasp that I'm happy being a hermit?
However, all is not crappy -- I'm now in a relationship with the lovely and awesome
inbarati, in addition to allfireburns and ordinarygirl, who I miss like crazy. I have been for a while, actually, but there's this irrational fear that if I tell the world about it, something terrible's going to happen. I'm trying to work past that.In other news, I'm looking into going to school for medical transcription. I like learning about medical stuff, I'm nitpicky and obssessive, and it'll let me work from home, so it seems like a good fit. The downside is that the two schools I hear recommended most often (Andrews and M-TEC) charge just under $4000 for tuition and books, and don't accept Federal financial aid. Dan (the former stepfather) has offered to put tuition on one of his credit cards for me, but I'd still have to pay him back, plus however much interest he gets charged for the balance on the card, and I'm afraid of being stuck owing him money forever while I try to make ends meet.
Most of the rest of what I've been doing involves a great deal of soul-searching, which I'm really not up to talking about.
But yeah, that's my life lately.