storyinmypocket: ([dw] crack pipe of rassilon)
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Following the cut, you'll find spoilers for DW: The End of Time (pt. 1). Don't click if you haven't seen it and/or have issues with spoilers, excessive profanity, and judicious use of allcaps.



Okay, first off, CRAZY HOBO MASTER WTF.

Just... seriously. What the everloving fuck?

And all this quasi-mystical bullshit at the beginning of the episode... What, is he Voldemort now? I've played in that AU with [livejournal.com profile] aguynamedgoo, and my version made more sense.

I mean, I like mysticism. I like magical stuff. I write fantasy.

But I do not want fantasy elements in my scifi without a logical explanation for them. And as much as I can see the Master grooving on creating a cult, and while I'm not surprised at all that he would've had a backup plan in place (I mean... duh), nothing that happened was ever explained in even pseudoscientific terms.

Yes, the Master may have a taste for the theatrical, but still.

THIS MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE.

NO FUCKING SENSE AT ALL.

WHAT THE FUCK?

And the Master suddenly able to completely resurrect himself? That kind of technology never existed in canon before, outside of stuff that was on Gallifrey. Unless, of course -- and here I'm going to pull some wild specualtion out of my ass -- during the Master's resurrection to fight in the Time War, he was given the knowledge of how to do this, in which case the Time Lords are evil chessmasters.

I like evil chessmasters.

...Now I'm wondering how far back this goes, and when they put the drums in his head. Because so far it's looking a lot like the Master was a Time Lord science project.

I do love the Time Lords being bastards here. And the Time Lord narrator. With the spitting. Some people didn't like the spitting, and Goo, if he watches, is probably going to be massively grossed out. (I would give you vomit bags if I could, sweetie.) For me, however, it was just the icing on the "has anyone considered the Time Lords might be batshit insane?" cake.

And the woman who shows up and then vanishes again... Could we be seeing the return of the Guardians? *bounces* Oh, please, please let us see the return of the Guardians.

And if the Time Lords are back, does that mean we'll get more stories not on Earth?

Yes, the TARDIS travels in time, and that's spiffy, but, to riff off the very first episode of New Who: Did I mention it also travels in space?

I want more awesome planets. I want nonhuman races. I want humanity and Earth to not be the center of the universe. Okay, sure, come back to Earth for adventures, but gimme some aliens other than the indistinguishable-from-human main character. Give me a proper alien companion, Mr. Moffat, and I'll happily endure your headdesk-inducing misogyny. (If I can endure Kripke enough to keep watching Supernatural, despite my rage, I can endure Moffat, if we get enough good stuff to make up for it.) Give me more strange and awesome alien vistas, without a human in sight other than the ones the Doctor brings with him, and I will be beside myself with joy.

But I digress.

The Master, despite my strong negative reaction to him, was interesting. I don't like seeing him that far gone with the crazy. It... bothers me. A lot. The superpowers were a turn-off at first, but at least canon makes it clear that he's been damaged due to the resurrection going wrong, and he's burning through energy at an alarming rate... Which explains the creepy gluttony.

And for all that I'm hearing a lot about how absolutely ridiculous his plan is, remember that this is the same Time Lord who tried to take over the world by handing out plastic daffodils, IIRC.

Plastic daffodils, y'all. It doesn't get much more ridiculous than that.

And that's part of the joy of Doctor Who for me. There can be serious issues and high drama, and then ridiculousness and camp, and it's still the same show. I'll forgive DW writers for things that would have me all up in arms if they happened on Torchwood, because TW, despite the campy elements, was supposed to be darker and more adult right from the start. (And therein lies my beef with a lot of people who bitch about Children of Earth being too dark for Torchwood -- the camp can sometimes obscure the dark and scary stuff that's going on, but that dark and scary stuff is still happening. CoE, for me, was TW done right. Well. Except for the plot holes. But the themes and characterization were all pretty damn solid, and this level of darkness has been hinted at all through the series. Not my fault people weren't paying attention.)

But again, I digress.

So yeah. Okay, the Master is everyone. I can deal with that.

...Including BARACK OBAMA. [personal profile] magistrate, I'm looking at you right now. You broke canon. Again. Though obviously RTD decided to incorporate the "Obama is the Master" idea after smoking some mighty good crack, I could not stop cackling gleefully during that sequence.

I do want to know what happened with the children and people of different sizes. Are there formerly-fat people who are now the Master with too-big clothes hanging off them? Are there tiny anorexic ballerinas who are now the Master and have to be cut out of their tutus because those things are cutting off circulation? And I don't even want to think about what might be happening to his genitals, whether or not they match human standard.

Suggested plot for the next episode: DONNA REGENERATES (THE OTHER DOCTOR CAN'T, YOU GUYS. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THERE WASN'T SOME TRANSFERENCE THE OTHER WAY) AND KICKS EVERYONE'S ASSES EVER. INCLUDING THE DOCTOR'S.

...ESPECIALLY THE DOCTOR'S.

WELL. NOT WILF'S. WILF IS SAFE FROM DONNA'S ASSKICKING.

AND THE MASTER HAS MORE LUCID MOMENTS.

AND THEN THEY ALL HAVE CAKE.

...I was just kidding about the cake part. And if the Master's still burning through energy like he is, I don't want to watch him eat it.

Before I end this, I should say something about the Doctor, shouldn't I? Okay, then.

He was very... emo.

No, really. I loved his scenes with Wilf. I loved the angst over Donna. I love him breaking down, especially after going Master levels of crazy during the last special. I love that he's afraid to die, because he'll never be him again.

(I also loved him getting groped by old ladies. After all, it's not like they would be the ones cradle-robbing in that instance...)

And dear gods, if there are Time Lords, can the Doctor stop being the ultimate authority? He makes a very bad ultimate authority. Someone needs to hold him accountable.

How this will work with the Time Lords seeming to be the evil masterminds here, I don't know.

Damnit, now I don't know what to hope for.

But, in a nutshell: the Doctor was emo.

The one quiet, lucid moment the Master has with the Doctor, where he talks about Gallfrey, though? That... That was perfect. That was my Master. But more importantly... That was Koschei, just for a moment. And when the Doctor falls, and the Master runs to catch him, despite having been the one to nearly kill him in the first place...

Oh, boys.

I wanted to cry, right there, because that was... That wasn't a planned reaction, that was completely instinctive, and you can see it, when he pushes away. That moment where he realizes what he's doing, where he's not sure who he's supposed to be.

Really, though, I'm looking forward to the next episode, albeit with some trepidation. Maybe it will shed some light on what the fuck is going on.

ETA: I do have to give this episode props for including random nonhumans. That was awesome. And it certainly isn't that we never have aliens, and never go into space. It's just that so often to focus is so very human-centric. The Ood were a happy exception.
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Jaqui Lokadottir

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I've got a story in my pocket and a bag full of apples; I'm rewriting this fairy tale whether you like it or not.

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